Note to readers: Before you start reading I want to tell you that I am not trying to be gender biased because I am a girl. I am just trying to portray the real picture of our world, it is my and millions of girls’ experience, it is the reality agree or not! Just the matter of mindset created by us and people around us that makes one gender superior and one to suffer. And if it keeps happening then it becomes necessary to stand and raise your voice so that you can avoid that, happening atleast with your own dear females around you. Hope you understand my real intention behind this article. Thank you so much already!
A small story if you can relate to!
When a boy is born, people celebrate as if a couple has just experienced a serendipity and has unlocked treasures full of diamonds and golds! They think they have done lots n lots of good deeds not only in this life but so much in previous life as well. Mother is so proud from the day one that she gave birth to a baby boy.
When a girl is born, people mourn as if after so much of hard work in search of treasures of diamonds they’ve unfortunately found a coal mine and since they all have moved to an information age where they get supply of electricity 24×7 coal is as useless as those hand fans which at some point of time used to save the same humans from heat. Mother, the same mother who was born to some mother as a baby girl, feels ashamed and worried because she gave a birth to a baby girl! Both parents feel they have done so much of evil things in this life and in previous ones that they have got a baby girl.
Well, lets see what else happens after a baby girl comes to this planet!
Year 0: She is seen with the eyes of care which are mixed with worries and fear as the couple is not having any source of income yet, to save for dowry! Instead of seeing her innocent face they think they are indebted from this very day to her “to be in laws” which has to happen may be 25 years later.
Girl: Poor innocent creature doesn’t know what’s gonna come her way pretty soon.
Year 1, 2, 3: Pampered as she is cute enough to be ignored but taught to drink the milk in bottle on her own! Of course she can hold that bottle and drink the milk to survive!
Girl: Mumma does so much of work, she gets tired! Heart full of love and brain not yet developed to understand anything.
Year 4, 5: She is now seen with the eyes of protection. Father more worried about her dowry than he was before. Mother starts worrying about the children she’ll play with!
Girl: “Mumma, Papa don’t want me to go out alone to play, I’ll get lost.” Because her heart is so pure.
Year 6: “Bachiya to hoti hi hai paraya dhan, ise padha k kya karenge bhaisaab, wahi paisa dahej k liye bacha k rakhiye, bhabhi jee ise to ab ghar ka kaam sikhana shuru kr dijiye, warna bade hokar jab sasural jayegi to saas k tane aapko hi sunne padenge”. Every one around takes control over her life except her parents! Fortunately she has a father who understands the value of education and is worried about her studies more than her dowry now, mother still wants her to start learning household chores.
Girl: Confused between the two lives she might get, unaware which one is better, school or household chores? Wants to try both, then wants to choose the better one!
Year 7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15: She lives both lives, learning how to make home look better, helping her mother in kitchen, helping her father in those complicated calculations, polishing her father’s shoes, ironing her brothers clothes, serving food on their bed, washing those utensils, managing her homework on time, learning all the chapters well and then managing to get good marks in all the exams, happily blessed creature.
Girl: I am so blessed to be able to serve my family, God “thanks for making me girl!”
Year 16,17,18,19,20: Welcome to the most dangerous phase darling! Mother is worried about her safety. See the irony, world full of sisters, mothers, wives, female cousins, niece, daughters yet a girl isn’t safe when she enters this zone, every body out there is ready to catch her, grab her, win her, judge her, dominate her and make her realize she is not at all safe, she is definitely not in the right place.
Father concerned about his self respect, sending teen daughter to college alone would be so risky, may be lets keep her home and let her manage house, ultimately it’s what she’ll do forever. Fights, dramas, taunts, comments, finally she could make it to college.
Girl: New phase, New dreams, mates, friends, male friends whom she thinks are different, are well wishers, are motivators end up only wanting one thing, a very obvious one!
Scared, nervous, feeling indifferent, trying to protect herself from their touch, stare, and scanning, she feels she is weak yet she keeps on walking. Because it’s an opportunity to show her father that he can sleep well while she is out, to mother that she can raise her head among kitty parties and say my daughter is studying in college, to set an example for her brother. And this keeps pushing her towards goal of walking boldly among the ones she’s afraid of today! She learns the art of living in this world and accepts that she’ll have to face all of this forever.
Year 21,22: Mother worried about finding a partner for her, waiting her to finish college and get a degree and start working on polishing herself to look worthy for a man. A man who’ll take lots of money to take her home, make her his own partner. Father taking antidepressants because he doesn’t have that lots of money so that he’ll be able to send her daughter to some other house, a house of strangers.
Girl: Learnings, experiences, wanting to be different, dreams, passion, wants to be successful, wants to become independent and a working woman, but because she’s in her twenties she becomes the most vulnerable creature of this planet now. Almost everyone out there is vigilant like eagle to ruin her life the moment they get chance. The only motivation she has is her dreams and the strong desire to achieve them!
Years 23: Father’s only wish to get some lottery so that he can sleep properly not worrying for her dowry. Mother more worried about her wrinkles and dark circles as if she has to sell “this product” before it gets out of demand in market. More worried about her dressing sense, her loud voice, her fighting back nature(as a bride fighting back is a bad quality as a human being the best quality, poor she, she is both)
Girl: Only focusing on her career, becomes engineer, gets a job, becomes competition to some of them around her, enjoys feeling of being independent, helps her family to grow, shouldering her father’s responsibilities. Falling in love with her own life, not dreaming of a rich husband rather wants to be a rich wife.
Year 24: Mother and Father both proud for what she has become, father not worried about her dowry as he knows her daughter is a precious part of their own not a burden, is ready to fight against the greedy ones who wants money to take her to their home. They both wants her to pursue her dreams and be free to fly high in the open sky. They are no more worried of her safety as they know they have made her strong enough to win the battle of being a girl. It’s not because her parents changed it’s because she never gave up on herself, it’s because she refused to live the way she was told to. It’s because she always knew that she is different but in a better sense than she was told by others.
Girl: Dreams bigger than her own existence, path chosen difficult but she is confident and feels grateful to be a girl, as the things that make her different are the things that make her stronger. Filled with affection towards everyone she has met and yet to meet, faith in Universe, trust on her own being she wants every girl to unlock the potentials hidden inside them and walk fearlessly to prove they have all the qualifications to be treated EQUAL.
“To all those fighting out there for their recognition, remember you aren’t alone, there are many like me there for you and above all you are bigger than these present problems and struggles, they don’t define you!” With Love, Saumya
Your turn now:
Tell me in comment how did you make your parents feel proud? Daring enough to share that with the world? Can you raise your voice against everything that counts you less?