“Ohhh! Lata Mangeshkar, Stop it, We can’t bear it anymore!” This is how I was always stopped when I ever sang a song. And the ones stopping me were those who themselves were worst in singing. They only heard my song which may be sounded so bad, but couldn’t ever realize I never sang to get their validation, I just felt like singing, I had feelings for the song and all I wanted was to express myself freely without any judgement imposed on me in return. I myself knew I was not at all good in singing like maximum of us. I knew I wasn’t blessed enough to have that basic sense of ‘sur’, ‘taal’ and ‘raags’. Anyways if we have to listen a perfect song without any errors in musical notes, we can listen to the singers who sang them already, there is so much to listen to, but not denying a fact that all of us have a music of soul, a music which keeps you alive, a music where you are yourself, a music which connects you with Universe, a music which calms your brain, a music which heals your soul, and I always sang feeling that music inside me! I always sang to connect myself with me! I was keen to learn music, but couldn’t make time for it as I was always lost in other unimportant stuffs every now and then. We all have same nature, we want to do so much in our lives but still lack skills of prioritizing the things and hence keep on wasting our precious time in insignificant things and keep on giving the excuses of not having enough time. This is a small story which is just highlighting one aspect of validation that we seek, like singing there is almost everything that we are judged for, either we are perfect at it or worst at it. I didn’t want them to appreciate the quality of my singing, I only wanted not to be judged for expressing something that was real in feeling but in its raw form, in its real form.
So this post is dedicated to ones who are judging and being judged, I was one of you until when for the first time I experienced this feeling of getting acceptance for my own existence as I am. I am writing this post with my own experience. I understand many of us are let down for things we really have genuine feelings for but somehow, we lack in art of expressing the same in its finest form and upgraded versions. There are very few of them who are able to understand our real feelings and accept the real version of ourselves Many of them every day judge us and the more they do, the more we go away from our real self, which hasn’t been edited or modified because someone else doesn’t likes it, which has always been twisted and turned for better not for seeking someone’s validation. We are living in the world where people instead of focusing and improving their own selves are busy judging others.
We are judged for the way we walk, to the people we talk, for the way we laugh, the way we cough, the way we sing, for our possessions of bling, the way we dance, the way we glance, the way we communicate, the way we indicate, for the miseries that life does to us, for the religion we belong to, for the education we are on to, for the color of our skin, for the status of our family, for our gender, even for our tender. The list is non-exhaustive.
And we as humans, being the social creature, yearn for others’ validation, keeping it at the top most priority, taking as a necessity to live in this world. And hence we keep changing our self just to be liked by them, we keep on detaching from our real selves, just because they don’t like it, just because they judge us on that particular insignificant quality of us, a thing which doesn’t define the whole US! And the biggest irony is that they are the one from same community who have their different selves, they don’t understand the meaning of being the real self. They don’t understand how it feels simply to be yourself, they don’t understand the difference between the existence of themselves and others! They don’t understand the meaning of UNIQUE! And you are made to pay a big price because of their lack of understanding.
I have explored this feeling after getting filled with lot of hatred for my own self. I used to be so inquisitive to learn what others think about me that I have almost started living as tenant in my own body, I have started living life of others, they commanded and I acted, I wasn’t at all aware about my own real self until one day I stood in front of mirror and dared to stare in my own eyes. And that was the day I realized, I am not what I feel I am and then all the treasures were unlocked. Things started changing and I started feeling more happy and confident than ever before. While practicing the art of not being influenced by their judgement, I fortunately found a whole new world. I started meeting the people who were so willing to accept me as I was, without imposing any judgements on me! “You are also being searched by the one you are searching for, you only have to send proper vibes to the Universe “
I have started meeting the ones passionate about music, they live music! Passionate about art, they breathe creativity. I have started meeting people who knew themselves better than anyone else. I met a girl who is so younger than me yet so profoundly mature and sorted. She has a unique charisma in her. She has a voice which will pull you out from your worst mood and bring you to the state of ecstasy. The gift that she is blessed with is eternal, the way she sings is astounding, if you listen to her you might forget to take your breathe for a while. Of course, there are many singers out there who sing better than her, but the best thing about her is she wasn’t the one who wanted to be like any other singer, because she knew she can be one of her kind. She was so much satisfied by the quality of voice she had, she just wanted to improve that! This is what made her uncommon from all of them who keep working all their life to someday become like someone else. She also had a very rare quality of not judging anyone before she could really know them. We only talked for 3 to 4 hours when we met for the first time but we became best friends forever. I feel so much myself when I am with her. She doesn’t want to change anything in me, she says” you are so perfect the way you are, I like everything about you” I know to find such people is rare nowadays but still you will definitely get one if you seek for!
Then later after few days I met another group of people. When they meet together they create a whole new world around, a world where you will be forced to forget your worries, because they’ll do magic on you, a magic of their pure tunes! They’ll create a magical aura around, which will drench you with happiness. When they sing your heart will want to dance, your soul will push you to experience another level of existence!
When their fingers strike that wooden guitar, it creates a sound which is melody of love, a sound which ripples from your heart and travels all along your body like an electricity which lightens all the hidden bulbs inside you, and you start emitting those radiations around, the radiations which attracts only positivity. Feeling of just being alive suddenly becomes so lucid!
When they blow air into that wooden flute, it produces sound which melts your anger, crushes your ego, neutralizes your negativity and all you will be left with is the feeling of compassion!
When they hit on that dead skin of tabla it produces vibrations which turns into the melody of life, a life which is so precious, you’ll forget everything and only want to thank God for being in that moment.
Listening to them is a therapy, which heals you, which gives you a pleasure that’s found nowhere else but around them! They are all found under one roof with name: ATM-MG(Any Time Masti- Musical Group). As you already know I didn’t sing well, but always wanted to learn one, hence I urged to be the part of that group, and that’s where magic happened, I was not confident at all but their behavior filled me with confidence when they welcomed me in their group immediately with open arms and not only this, they made me sing with them in the running performance in front of all that local audience, and I got compliment for the first time in my life, they said “you sing well” not because I have suddenly learnt singing but because today I was accepted the way I was with my talent and my flaws. I wanted to be a part of the world where they don’t judge, they just accept and focus on improvement of your skills. They all are human being like us, they all have those feelings when they are individuals but as they live the character of being the member of ATM group, all they do is just spread happiness & peace. They help you forget the outer world and by their music they’ll make you focus to see inside yourself, they’ll insist you to be yourself. They’ll make you so comfortable the way you are. They are not great singers or musicians who are known by millions of people but the things which make them extraordinary is they chose to be themselves, and will also make you do the same. It’s only been less than a week and I feel as if I am a part of this ATM family since decades. I really want to thank Universe that he considered me blessed enough to be a part of this group. I also thank every member of this group for being who they are!
And by this experience of mine I convey this message to all my readers, please stop caring about their judgements, stop detaching yourself from you, stop seeking for their validations, because you will find such people in this planet who won’t judge you, but you will only find them when you move away from negative people around you. You don’t have to be the part of someone else’s negativity. There is a place where you can find yourself, and a world where you’ll be praised for being you! But before you’ll be allowed to get there, you need to understand the importance of being YOU! You’ll have to understand the importance of your own existence! You’ll have to pass this entrance test of practicing the art not caring for the things that pull you away from yourself. And then you’ll become the happiest person on this planet. I challenge you to try this art!
Your turn now!
You can share your own experiences, the feeling that you had when you were judged for not able to speak fluent English, for the color of your skin, for the education that you had, for your physical appearance, for your gender (this is really insane)!
I know you just wanted to be accepted as you were, you only needed a motivation to improve yourself not the criticism which have crushed you and demotivated you enough to start hating and disliking your own self. Do you remember the day when because of their judgement you said to yourself ” I hate you, why can’t you speak better English”
” I really don’t like myself because of the color of my skin” “O god, why me? Why did you made me a girl, I too want to roam on roads late night under the sky full of stars”
And then do you remember when you were child, when they used to say you stupid you used to laugh with them because at that time you didn’t wanted their validation. Close your eyes and just feel that feeling of your childhood when you were just accepted by all as you were, because those all were your family and friends, can we be just the ones who’ll stop judging anyone we meet? And I would challenge you to start with your own self, today just start by accepting your own self, smile to yourself in mirror and say to yourself “I love the way you are” !
Please do leave your feedback and comments! I’ll be pleased to hear your own experience. Let the world know you love yourself before you love anyone else. Tell the world you no more judge anyone for their being, at least there is one person less from that crowd and on a journey to become the happiest person on this planet.